Hopeless

I sleep but not to rest
I pause but not to think
I eat but not to be nourished
I pray but not to find forgiveness.

I grab a hold but not to hold on
I take a seat but not to rest
I long to be but all to you
I seek those things that cannot be found.

I find victory in all defeat
I find defeat in every win
I drink in all but do not thirst
I see the light as all light fades.

I am hopeless I am hopeful
I am so happy I can cry
I am so lonely I need to be alone
I am so right that I know that I am wrong.

I am hopeless, lost, and have never had more hope or been more found.