Today I feel love exploding inside of me. It is as if a great warmth is surrounding my Being left frozen and numb by time. I feel the life returning, the color enveloping the colorless, the rush of life filling the void left by death. I feel reborn.
Last night I dreamed. I dreamed of things that were, that are, and that will be. I felt purpose in my Being, a drive in my soul to experience purpose. From a book rose a memory and from my soul a command: “If you had but the faith of a mustard seed you could move mountains. You don’t have much time left to move that which you were sent to move.” I awoke with purpose, and a renewed understanding that my purpose will unfold if I just allow it to. My faith may be able to move mountains, but only if I allow it to.
I love my wife, I love my children. I simply love. I love the stranger who I held the door open for while I was getting my morning coffee. I love the beans that allowed my coffee to be. I love the rain in my bare head, the sweat running down my back at the gym, the pain in my arms as they worked to failure, because all of these allowed me to know that I was Being. I love my new dog, the memory of my old dog and the challenges each allowed to be. I love the essence of lust my wife gives me, the challenge of patience my son gives me, the reflection of self my daughters provide, and each and ever moment that all of this existence is giving me.
To say that at this moment I have arrived in such clarity is an understatement of what is. I cannot describe completely or accurately what is inside me at this moment save to say that what is inside me at this moment has changed what is not as I can see it. The world is clearer right now, more beautiful, with each sight and each sound being clearer than I can ever remember it. I can hear the silence more clearly, the light more vividly, and the things that are allowed to be by the presence of silence and light in a way new to me. Such is the beauty of what is at this moment.
I will follow my purpose as it unfolds, and listen to my Inner Voice as it allows me to feel such instruction. Such life, such purpose shall not be forgotten. I have seen the purpose of anger, of hatred, of fear as darkness that allows this light to be. I have felt the heat of battle as it has scorched my face, the wind risen veil of anger as it hides the love I wish could be. They are part of me, and in order for me to be they must be. These are not “me”, they are but a part of the whole which is allowed to be by the light of love that is inside me. In knowing the fear as I have I can see the love, in knowing the anger I can see the compassion, in knowing the “bad” I can recognize the “good”. I can see the place of each, the parts of me that allow the whole to exist. I must not grasp to live, I must let go to Be.
©2009 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved