I close my eyes, and there you are; a fire in the chilly night, a cool breeze in the scorching sun. I long to hear you sing to me, but for now I simply run amok in those fields of possibility. This silence that I hear will one day allow your sweet voice to sooth the beast within my mind, and the one day your touch will bring bumps to my skin and a tidal wave of ecstasy through my soul.
For now I am left to dream. As the pink-hued wisps of memories glow in the evening sky, I dream. In the present there is pain, a certain tale of heated anger that spills over the brim of the vessel I hold within. What has been stolen from me is nothing less than an idea that I can succeed again. What has been ripped away from my clenched fists is the method by which I provide for those I love the most. The selfish peck away at the wounds I will not show, and the ghastly beast of What Was Once gleefully prances around with the very loot she has not earned but willfully has taken.
I breathe away this wave of anger, and stick my toe again in the cool waters where you are. My dreams can take me to that golden bridge on which you stand, arms open, lips curled up in a loud but silent hello. As the cool waters embrace my willing form I float like a leaf to that place, past the chaotic rapids of my memory, through the turbulent whitewater that the past is sure to churn. In the moments I feel a certain doom I know I can persevere, rise above the surface, and breathe in the very life I wish to lead. I will survive, both because my purpose has yet to be realized and because I truly want to rest in your embrace and let you know that I, too, am real.
Tell me who you are. Tell me about the river you now float upon. Tell me about the storms you have survived, the depths that you have gone, and the moment you breathed in the life you wish to live. Tell me about the first time you saw me and the tingling of your skin. Show me the pleasure that I bring, and sing to me that sweet lullaby that you were born to sing and I was born to hear.
I wait, to discover, to uncover, and to live the very breath I take. I will see you soon…