Shades of White


I feel you
I can almost hear your voice
You are close, yet far
From me, to you, my shining star.

In something, like that, I know. The cool breezes, the light touch of the spring sun, the cool water cascading down my parched throat…they are you, they are truly you. Like a comfortable patch of grass on a rocky hillside, you spring from the whirlwind in my mind; a place I can rest when the journey has beaten me down, a respite from the storm when my skin has become too weathered from the pounding rain.

There, a man offers this woman his weakness. She can take it. She is fierce, and the very idea of her strengthens his weary limbs and drives the blood through his veins. He stands this ground because this is where she stands, and it is sacred to him. He gives not an inch to the demons who would possess his mind if only he would fall to their darkness.

Here, he carries no shield but wields a mighty sword. There are no enemies to slay in this place. Rather, the sharpened steel flays open his thickened armor, baring his tested skin and exposing his naked soul to a warrior of equal skill and experience. She takes him whole and does not break him, instead creating bumps on his mighty arms and bringing a smile upon his waiting lips. Warrior lovers need bring no battle to the loving space they share, and no enemies dare face them as they make love upon the sacred ground they have claimed as their own.

Such power is best left alone to the gods who honor it, and such prayers are best left to the mighty priests who would dare cry out in an ecstasy mere mortals have never shared.

Your heart
I feel it growl within the breaths of my soul
Our sweat mixes in this honored state
I've died a death well worth the wait.

He knows even as he feigns uncertainty in the moment. Their scars scream, then heal, with each thrust of their insatiable passion. Gone are the tales of woe that once defined them, replaced instead by a new chapter written on new paper of a beginning neither could foresee coming, but certainly would not stop. Uncertainty is a habit hard to break, and the gates we place on our hearts are often difficult to open, but these warriors do not fear new beginnings. They only fear repeating old ends, and in the insanity of catering to demons of their own making, both have realized the best victories are the first ones where heart and wisdom are challenged and vowed to the ends of courage. Both warriors step, together, toward that light, and both sense a place of common virtue, and of united wisdom.

She looks at him with eyes he’s known his entire life, and the uncertainty shudders from his being. He holds her in her strong arms as her fear is released in a sigh that escapes her lips. They lay together silently, each heart beating its own testament of truth to a moment that will never end even as it shifts to other places, other times, in other shades of white.

Your mind
I feel it recoil in unholy memories
In passioned fear our hearts deny
Do not cry, do not cry

When the demons come he will wipe the tears from her beautiful face, and when the cuts return she will wipe the blood from his tested brow. Such things lovers do for one another, and in liberated swirls they will dance upon the battlefields of life. They will love their fierceness, admire their devoted desire, and quench an insatiable thirst for passion each has for one another. They will live their lives naked in each other’s presence, and they will never search for shelter where there is no room for the other. They will brave the hail and the rains and the driving winds, fear no lightning and hear no thunder. They will only hear each other’s heart beating loudly when the storms arrive, and they will seek no shelter beyond the lover’s embrace in which they only know their truth.

Such things are things on which I dream, a new chapter for a book not yet written by a hand not yet created. From the breath I now draw from the air that we surely share, I know such a warrior is there, dreaming the same dream, knowing the same wisdom that molds my very footprint in the sand. Soon, the clangs of steel will be replaced by the harmony of two lovers dancing shamelessly under the white light of the moon, and awakening within them the many shades of white presented as gifts from the mighty rainbow that binds them to one another.

I await your arrival, keeping you in the dreams I’m sure to have between now and then. Walk with confidence, my princess, and use this time wisely toward a purpose of heaven’s will. Somewhere, near the middle, I will find you, and we will know…

photo by: Flavia Mariani

2 thoughts on “Shades of White”

  1. The last paragraph makes my throat clench and tears well up in my eyes. Love Tom’s writing!

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