In my stillest moments I feel the seeming eternal moods of joy and hope, love and passion, anticipation and devotion to the truth. I feel the endless motion of a sea that never ends, of a space within that breaks me open to keep me whole. My heart holds firm to feel you, while my mind drifts off to places we have never been in moments we have never shared. There my soul dances knowing who you are, and there the whole of me sings praise of the simplest truths discovered in the silence.
You are here, beating with my heart, dancing with my soul, guiding my hand and hammer to chisel a new stone we two can share as one.
My heart embraces the gentle threads that bind us. Like the strings on a golden harp gently played to our tune, my heart lightly touches the strings to feel their vibrations. In this, one silent moment of a life spent searching, my heart beats within the sounds of love, within the holy commands of the Unknown, to the masterful beats of maestro no man has ever seen. I hold you there, knowing that neither time nor space shall part us from the sweet embrace of destiny, feeling it all in one single bump of many raised upon my skin.
My heart knows. It has always known. Like some masterful artist whose brush can do no wrong, my heart knows. In the roughest seas that have changed my shorelines forever, my heart has known. In the calm waves of a beautiful morning sunrise, my heart finds all it has to know. Now. Here. You.
Take heed, my sweet Lover, our time is coming.
My mind drifts off to where you are. There, I can hear the sweet sound of your voice as it brings me to my full attention. I can hear your thoughts there, finding your dreams as tattered or as intact as you want them to be. I can feel your lips pressed to mine, you skin holding me firm as I touch the deepest parts of you. I can feel you move, hear you utter the loudest prayers of ecstasy, and know where I am is where I need to be. There is no illusion in the depths we share; depths we discover as surely as the rays of light peek over the distant horizon, depths without end and as insatiable as any desert sand to whatever rain my fall.
My mind knows little for sure, but it knows enough to listen to my heart. There is an indestructible truth in the bond the stillness creates between my mind and heart. Time and truth have tested me, and those tests have taught me to have faith in the voice I hear from within, a voice not of man or myth or any mind ever known. It whispers to me now, and the words are not translated by my heart or my mind, but by something in-between. There you will find the best of me, the best that writes my unbridled truth, the best that sings songs to you in the nights I lay alone, the best that knows you are coming.
My Soul. That great voice that sits between the hopeless parts of a hopeful man caught daydreaming in blissful revelry to the promise of tomorrow. In a vast field of possibility that is my life, my Soul rules with a hand sometimes hard and sometimes soft but never unjust. There, my Soul guides me to face the challenges of a life lived; challenges my mind swears it cannot bear but my heart accepts with a willing reverence to a different truth. I am pulled into valleys seen too deep and pushed onto mountaintops thought way too high, always reaching whatever plateau I am asked to sit upon. I bear the scars of falls taken and stumbles made as well as the strong hands that have continually brushed off legs unwilling to buckle and a back unwilling to bend. Through a destined defining I have left beauty and riches behind to find truth and simplicity in the kindness of my heart, the wisdom of my mind, and the mastery of my Soul.
My Soul does not know, but it wants to. It asks for the chaos, it demands the darkness because it is the order, and it is the light. With each passing storm the winds become more subtle, the thunder quieter, the ground less caked with mud. The hearty growls and determined snarls were once booming echoes in the empty space around me, now quieted by the divine distraction of you. Like a drop of sugar in a class of cool water, you come. Like a cool drink on a hot day you bathe me in a certain type of comfort. I know you are there, my Soul and my heart tell me so, and I hear you in my mind as clearly as any church bell ringing in a heavenly parade.
I will take you, one day, and show you my little space of heaven. There the doubts will be destroyed, the debts of a million lifetimes paid in a single kiss. You will laugh with me, enjoy the empty spaces I have made, and listen to laughter created by the cries and bask in the light created by the darkness as it peaks over our shared horizon. There the ocean and the sand will demand our feet as surely as our hands and lips demand each other’s.
In this I know our certain truth, our inevitable journey where two become one, where it all makes complete sense. I breathe a laugh while I inhale another thought of you and I exhale a not-so-quiet sigh. We know, don’t we? Yes, I believe. You.