Sometimes

El Bocho - Sometimes love is closerSometimes we bare our souls without even realizing it.

Sometimes the warm winds clear our minds and pull the threads from around us, rendering us naked in a process of transformation we often deny and ignore. Sometimes we simply lose ourselves in moments passed, and we are left helplessly present but hardly accounted for during the only parts of our lives we could ever hope to change.

There are times when the gently crashing waves wash away the dunes we have built around our wounds, when the silent, foamy surf takes us to places we have never been before. Under the gaze of a bright, moonlit sky we realize our unconsciousness, and suddenly become aware of how little awareness we allow. We scan the paths we have traveled trying to make sense of it all, until we realize the only sense those footsteps make are in the very moment we aren’t seeing. Sometimes blindness gives us back our sight, and muteness gives us back our voice.

Then, suddenly, we see it. Now. We have arrived, even if only for a second. Sometimes, a second is all we need. Sometimes a second is all we will ever have.

Sometimes a tiny crack in the shells we have built around our hearts is enough to remind us of the beauty of the light. Sometimes a single note of music is enough to remind us of our song. Sometimes a single grain of sand brings the beach to our feet, and a single ray of sun brings a closed-eye, wide-armed embraced of the unseen gift of warmth. Sometimes it’s the little things that bring us the biggest joy, and the invisible notions of something wonderful that bring us back to who and when we are. Sometimes it just takes two hands touching to remind us of the greatest power the Universe has to offer.

Sometimes we simply must surrender. Sometimes it takes more courage and more strength to be afraid, and sometimes it takes but a single, tiny cloud to block the greatest light this Earth has ever known. Sometimes you need to lose to win, give to receive, and honor the cliché in order to know something new. Sometimes you need to die to find life anew, and sometimes you simply need to cry your eyes out to find the laughter once again.

I wish I knew all of this when I once condemned the wretched moments in my life, but then again sometimes you need to condemn in order to be free of judgment. Sometimes you need to forget it all to remember who you are, and sometimes you need to fall to reach the summit.

Sometimes you need to stop questioning in order to hear the answers. Sometimes you and I just need to sit still and watch. Sometimes the silence is the loudest sound you’ll ever hear, and sometimes stillness the most active you will ever be. Sometimes death will bring you life, and absolute despair will grant you the greatest hope you will ever live to know.

Then, sometimes you will see love seeing you, and you’ll be looking at what is looking back at you.  Sometimes the most chaotic mess you know will find the stars most aligned, and sometimes the worst outcome is the best answer to your prayers. Then, sometimes, you’ll give thanks to those wretched moments and, sometimes, never need remember them again. You won’t forget, you just won’t remember either.

I look forward to the sometimes that make all the times, and to the vast sea of times that have come, will come, and are now. It is there I have found the love I thought I lost, and the life I will never cease to live again.

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