In the rays of light that caress me through my window, I feel it.
Through her words, often spoken in moments of deep emotion, I feel it.
In the deepest moments of insecurity and loss when she offers you safe haven, I feel it.
Through the rapid wind where she vanishes like the mist, I feel it.
Love is often lost in the modern sense of things. It is like a drink we often drink too fast, like fine dining we have replaced with fast food and drive-thru windows. We seek it quickly, lose it rapidly, and then wallow in the effects of our choices for days.
We fall in love for various reasons, not realizing that every reason to fall in love is the wrong one. Love has no reason. In fact, love is often unreasonable, and it takes us to uncomfortable places we’d often never choose to visit. Love just happens for no reason at all, except that it wants to.
We refuse to fall in love for various reasons, not realizing that every reason to reject love’s advances is the wrong one. Love is often unreasonable, and when the undertow of the its great ocean pulls us in we can either choose to relax and go along for the ride, or fight and drown in its mighty current.
Sometimes we’ll drown either way. The point is, however, how we choose our demise. Do we choose it in ease or in struggle, in panicked chaos or peaceful acceptance of the realization that we are not really in control?
Lovers are unreasonable beings trying to make reasonable choices with ideas that don’t really exist. They fight with themselves often, as the pull of what they were taught opposes the reality of what they are experiencing. Gone is the “way it should be” replaced by “the way it is.” It can be a painful process, depending on how new the experience is.
Conventional wisdom doesn’t work with lovers. Love is unconventional, and applying the laws of physics to it drives it to oblivion. The best lovers dance to the song written within them, knowing full well their true partner will be dancing the same rhythm without even knowing it.
So, when the rays of sunlight caress me through my window, I feel it. I want to share it, and I want to know it. I want to pull her close and let her feel the warmth too. I want to kiss her while squinting in the light, pull her close as our bodies glow in its effect.
When she speaks, I can feel it. If you want proof that words are energy just sit still and listen to your lover. Regardless of the words, you will feel each of them. Her words will flow through you and over you like a warm fire during a blizzard. In fact, you may not even realize the blizzard until you listen to her speak. The tone and sound of her voice will give you pause, and you’ll find yourself needing more.
When you feel lost and abandoned, unsure of everything around you, she is there. Like bedrock in the sand she holds your weight, letting you know that you have nothing to fear. She’ll grab your face and your eyes will be drawn to hers like the Moon to the Earth, and you will know. All is in order even in the chaos, and all is as it should be even in the turmoil of your boiling cauldron.
When she vanishes, you will feel it. Whether it be an hour, or a day, or a week, her absence will scour your body like the roughest wool. When she gets busy with those “other things” you will feel her absence. It will sting you like the harshest wind-swept sand, and ensure that you never take her presence for granted again.
That is love. Unreasonable, unconventional. Painfully beautiful. Like the mud puddle your parents told you not to play in, simply roll around in that stuff. Get dirty, and she’ll get dirty with you. Then, if you are lucky, she’ll help you get clean.
But that’s another story…