My Love,
Don’t leave me too quickly, or be too long in return. Kiss me softly under the gray skies of Winter. Promise me the warm embrace of Spring in all that you say it offers, the unpushed flower unfolding, the loving discussions of what will be. What more do we need to make real this truth we whisper our oaths to? What gods must rise from the depths to snare for us the beast that keeps us quiet? Where must our feet fall to leave our imprint on the Earth if not to awaken the very soul of Her as you make your way to heights unmatched? What views must we find from which we speak our oaths to one another, to God, and to the Mother who has blessed us both with life and blessed wonder?
I seek not much from this tortured plain but to rise above it. I must scratch and claw at the hard-packed trail beneath my feet just to get a glimpse of Heaven. Not two days ago you sat on Her ridge, gazing out through those Pearly Gates, your soul screaming in victory at the undertaking. Words poured from your soul, words you could only guess at their meaning, that brought tears from my heart. As you read that prose to me the glorious trembles in my soul rattled my truth like a saber in its scabbard begging to be unsheathed.
The truth, you are it. You leave my space and once again the sadness pours from my heart like a torrent. Parting with you is such an unnatural act, one I have no desire to engage in and one that can leave me wandering aimlessly in words that flow effortlessly from my fingers. I pray that Venus end my torment but she laughs at me. I beseech Cupid to true his arrow to the center of my heart, but he too laughs and then shows me the bleeding wound he has already left there. I seek comfort in the rising Sun but there is none to be had, only these words that flow, I can only hope, directly to your thirsty lips.
What I do, I do not know. I should have mastered this already. It should be easier to watch you ride off toward your destiny, except I am your destiny and you are heading in the opposite direction. I want to further simplify this life and transform this journey into one devoted to nothing but creation. I wish to wake up beside you if only just to gaze upon your form in the dim morning light. Then I wish to tell the story of that day that began with so much love vast oceans could not contain it; a day that ends as it began with a kiss and your stoic man gazing lovingly at your form while you searched for my hand beneath the covers. There, those oceans will flow onto our bodies as we dance to our Divine music, and recite poetry that has no words, only intention. We so love…
Ah, those visions of eternity that ring truth upon the bells in our chests! We walk our dog upon the streets of this village, reciting stories of the first time we sat on that spot, ate at that place, slept at that Inn along the way. Our gait will be slower then, but our intentions just a pure as when we could run at full speed on hardened pavement. You will sit on that Left-hand chair as you did the first time we ventured here, and I will look at you with the same love and care as I did that first time and I will be reminded of the great fortune I have had just to have had these walks with you, this life with you, and the moments we have created on our journey. There is so much to create, my love, and we are the very ones who can create it.
For now, I will dim the lights in our space until you fill it once again, and light a candle in your honor beside the altar of my heart. I will say a prayer that echoes in the empty chamber that is reserved for you and look toward the sky through the windows that adorn our cathedral. I will ask each star for your safe return and beg of God the chance to know old age with you, my beloved, my soul’s mate, my heart’s spoken truth.
Safe travels, my beloved. My heart goes with you.
Your Love