What you feel is life, what you live is another story.

Category: Morning Meditations

The Tree of Love

I can almost see your footprints in the snow. I can almost hear our winter wonderland packing beneath each footfall. We walk, sometimes silently and sometimes telling great stories; sometimes apart and sometimes nestled in a warm embrace. We can share a quiet introspection or laugh loudly with the words that echo in the snow, either is fine with souls who have set forth on some great journey and who honor that journey in each and every step.

I can almost see you standing on the ridge. Along the journey there have been moments where you were unsure and I’ve led the way. There have been times when uncertainty rankled my mind, and you pointed out the trail that lay before us. Together we have made it here, to this ridge. You gaze out to eternity as I marvel at your strength, your power, and the love you shine through every pore of your existence.

I can almost hear the chants of those dancing around a Great Fire, and see us sitting before its glow. I see your face, beautiful in the orange flicker of the Fire. I feel your hand in mine as your head falls on my shoulder. I kiss your crown, feeling the warmth of the fire radiate from your skin.

A Chief came before us like a shadow before the fire. He smiled as he handed you a pipe, mentioning for us both to smoke it. As we did, he touched our face lightly and though in front of the fire it was as if the fire was reflected in his eyes. His smile warmed us and we exhaled, the smoke uniting in the night before offering itself up to the sky. He took the pipe from us, bowed in our presence, and vanished into the darkness just beyond the fire.

Suddenly, we appeared as two ice sculptures carved through many winters of many lifetimes together. The Great Fire warmed us, and in its spring our melting formed one puddle on the Earth. The chants of our Elders intensified as the crackling of the Fire grew louder, our puddle vibrated with the energy of gratitude and the blessings being bestowed. The dark canvas of the night, painted in the dim orange of the Fire, now revealed many Elders holding hands and bowing their heads in honor.

The Chief who had shared the pipe spoke in a language unfamiliar but easily understood. He shared a story of two cardinals who had to fly into many strong winds, through many lifetimes, to finally land on the same branch. Their journey had them question the branch, but their perch held strong. What was destined could not be avoided, and what was happening was surely destined. When they flew in directions sometimes different and sometimes the same, it was the branch that would always hold firm upon their return. The branch was offered by the Tree of Love, and it would be the home they returned to for the rest of their lives.

The Chief paused, and bent to the Earth. There, he drew an  on the ground before the fire. He then mentioned it was his time to leave us.

The Elders turned to go, and the chants subsided as the Fire grew dim. In the silence we could hear the wolves howling in the distance as the stars revealed themselves in the darkness. We held each other, still warm from the night, knowing that while nothing was different everything had changed. Love always present was given its due and in that sprouting a new Tree of Love was planted by our meeting, fed by the songs of our Elders, warmed by the Fire of our souls and watered by the melting of our winter.

I give thanks for the visions I am granted, and for the ability to describe them with my words. I give thanks for the muse that inspires me daily, who lights my Great Fire, and who points me in the direction of my path when I feel I’ve lost it. Such love, born in Spirit and thus so inspired, can only honored and cherished.

Peace.  

Life is 360

During my meditations, I am often given a message. Though today’s meditation was relatively short, about 10 minutes, it was an intense meeting between me and the Divine.

I guess God had something to share and I, in turn, share it here.

I was sitting around a large, round table. Seated to the right of me were many who were a big part of my life during its various stages. I was also seated there at the different ages. These people included my grandparents, my parents, my children, and some close friends some of whom are no longer with us. Immediately to my right was my Love, and some people I have met through her. The space to my left was something I could not see, but I knew was there.

I heard a singing bowl ring, and I stood to offer a toast when it had finished. 

I raised a chalice, and began to speak. What I said came out of me much like when I write. I was not in full control of my words, though I meant all of them.

“Life is a circle. We live in this experience, me as Tom and you as you, in 360 degrees. Each of those degrees gets us to where we are, much like the each tick of a clock gets the second hand back to twelve. While we are an accumulation of each degree, our truth is defined by the one we are on. We are free to make that place whatever it is we want.

“I see now that I have lived 270 degrees so far. I honor each of you who have been part of this journey for being. I love what you have brought to my circle, for the lessons learned and the experiences gained. I forgive each of you for any harm you may have shown me, and ask each of you forgiveness for any harm I may have shown you. Each of you have led me to someplace wonderful, so thank you.”

I raised the chalice, but did not drink. Instead, I breathed deeply and let all the apprehension go out of my body. Forgiveness.

I turned to my Love, seated next to me. 

“It took all 270 degrees to find you. Through each of those steps, I’ve learned what it takes to be me. I’ve learned the courage of being vulnerable, of being afraid, and of surviving it all. I’ve learned the beauty of being alone, of rising from the mud, and of finding myself in the midst of losing everything. I stand next to you now not as a proud man, but as a humble man. Life has not chiseled me to be a man of stone. It has chiseled me open to humbly stand before you as vulnerable as the pieces of me that have settled at my feet.

I have 90 degrees left, my Love. Those moments I have left are not about what hills I climb, or trails I hike, or ocean sunrises I get to see. They are about sharing those moments in love. I’ve done them all alone, the next 90 degrees are about sharing each of them with you. 

When I reach that 360th degree, I hope to look back and see a life fulfilled in love, in soul, and in a heartfelt testament to all I have learned.

What will be may be unknown, but sharing the unknown with you is all I could hope to do.”

I sipped the drink, and it was sweetly intoxicating. 

 

Morning Meditation 9/26/18

I understand that people do not get me. I understand they are not under any obligation to get me. We are simply obligated to get ourselves, and to live the life we choose to live under the auspice of our own design.

I would rather be alone than struggling under the weight of what others expect of me. I would rather be happy then trying to breathe with your foot on my throat. I would rather be happy than trying to make you happy.

So, we have a choice. We, as master of ourselves and creators of our own experience, choose to find joy in our space or drag the misery of others into it. I choose joy.

No, Cain, I am not my brother’s keeper and I end that lie that I am right now.

Keep in mind that this is not a condemnation of anyone. What may be my misery may be others’ joy. Others may flourish under what is limiting to me. What this is, however, is a testament to my own experience, in the way that the Sun may shine within me regardless of your tolerance of daylight, and that even as the days grow shorter around me that I may always see the Sunshine within me. You may sleep through the Sunrise if you choose, but I choose to wake up to bask in its glow.

In Stoic promise I embrace my happiness, my health, and my well-being. Without counting on tomorrow I rise today to live the moment to its fullest, to find joy in each tick of the clock, and to experience both elation and sadness with equal vigor. It is right now my heart has chosen to manifest its highest calling, and it is in this moment that I trust.

Time to go within, and without, to find myself anew bathing in the love I was promised at birth, in the way I choose to wade in it.

Peace.