During my meditations, I am often given a message. Though today’s meditation was relatively short, about 10 minutes, it was an intense meeting between me and the Divine.
I guess God had something to share and I, in turn, share it here.
I was sitting around a large, round table. Seated to the right of me were many who were a big part of my life during its various stages. I was also seated there at the different ages. These people included my grandparents, my parents, my children, and some close friends some of whom are no longer with us. Immediately to my right was my Love, and some people I have met through her. The space to my left was something I could not see, but I knew was there.
I heard a singing bowl ring, and I stood to offer a toast when it had finished.
I raised a chalice, and began to speak. What I said came out of me much like when I write. I was not in full control of my words, though I meant all of them.
“Life is a circle. We live in this experience, me as Tom and you as you, in 360 degrees. Each of those degrees gets us to where we are, much like the each tick of a clock gets the second hand back to twelve. While we are an accumulation of each degree, our truth is defined by the one we are on. We are free to make that place whatever it is we want.
“I see now that I have lived 270 degrees so far. I honor each of you who have been part of this journey for being. I love what you have brought to my circle, for the lessons learned and the experiences gained. I forgive each of you for any harm you may have shown me, and ask each of you forgiveness for any harm I may have shown you. Each of you have led me to someplace wonderful, so thank you.”
I raised the chalice, but did not drink. Instead, I breathed deeply and let all the apprehension go out of my body. Forgiveness.
I turned to my Love, seated next to me.
“It took all 270 degrees to find you. Through each of those steps, I’ve learned what it takes to be me. I’ve learned the courage of being vulnerable, of being afraid, and of surviving it all. I’ve learned the beauty of being alone, of rising from the mud, and of finding myself in the midst of losing everything. I stand next to you now not as a proud man, but as a humble man. Life has not chiseled me to be a man of stone. It has chiseled me open to humbly stand before you as vulnerable as the pieces of me that have settled at my feet.
I have 90 degrees left, my Love. Those moments I have left are not about what hills I climb, or trails I hike, or ocean sunrises I get to see. They are about sharing those moments in love. I’ve done them all alone, the next 90 degrees are about sharing each of them with you.
When I reach that 360th degree, I hope to look back and see a life fulfilled in love, in soul, and in a heartfelt testament to all I have learned.
What will be may be unknown, but sharing the unknown with you is all I could hope to do.”
I sipped the drink, and it was sweetly intoxicating.