Paradox of Destiny

There are moments of true grandeur in our lives, when the realm of hope and desire meet the substance of reality. We often bask in the light of such a moment, realizing fully the fears of finally reaching it, and the hope that it will not fade or meet its end. It’s a dawn and a twilight, a death and a resurrection, all in one.

When we meet our destiny, there is a realization in the meeting. We realize our darkest thoughts, and our hopeful remedies. We come face to face with our mortality as well as our eternity in the same second, and we feel our scars and our recovery in the essence of where we stand. We remember the falls, the stumbles, and the moments of our glorious rising when we hold her hand, feel her gaze, and taste her kiss.

I realize all I’ve lost to get to her, and that I’ve lost nothing in our meeting.  I look at the bruises on our hearts, only to discover the strong beat beneath. I cry tears of desire, hear songs of great intention, and suddenly the very undercurrent of my life has changed. I can hear the love in the air, feel the desire in the sand, and smell the sweet fragrance of forever in the clean, mountain air.

What would I change in a hard life if it meant I’d never see your face? What light would I share in the dark moments if it meant I’d never have the chance to love you? What different turn would I make, what illness would I avoid, and what pain would I seek relief from if it meant I’d never know your name?

The truth is I wouldn’t change a thing. I’d suffer in the darkness knowing you were coming. I’d face the dizziness, the loss of all that I knew just to share with you this moment. I’d face the challenges and rise above them all over again, just to get to you. I am who I am because my life has sculpted me, but I’ve been sculpted to be your lover, forever. I would not stop one hammer strike upon the chisel, nor beg forgiveness for a single thing that has led me to your arms.

In the paradox of destiny we my falter, but we rise up to meet our truth in the arms of the One we love. In the journey we may land on our knees, but we stand and dust ourselves off in order to hold each other in the night. In the human sea we may grow tired and slip beneath the surface, but we fight and reach each other on the shore.

It is there that I have found you, my true love, my best friend. I have loved you in my anonymity and cared for you in my distance, always feeling you vibrate in my soul. I have ridden a great wave to find you, to hear you say the words, “I love you”, and to finally say the great oath we both have lived to hear.

So, I stand, hands extended and arms wide open, just to hold you close. The iron will within me, forged from the fires of life’s own hell, now serves the sacred love we share. My open heart, once cracked wide open by a million painful memories, now stands filled with the truth of your arrival. You are the destination I’ve been heading for, but you are certainly not the end of the journey.

We have our journey now. What was once his and hers is now theirs. What was once separate is now together, what was once apart is now whole. There is no oath we need say because we are the oath, there are no vows we need write because our love is the vow. We will make them, for sure, but only as a prayer of gratitude to the very Winds that brought us together, the very destiny we have been born to know. The rest we have written in the stars, in our intertwined fingers, and in our lips that never, ever want to part.

I now look upon the scars carved into my soul and kiss them in gratitude. I look upon the dark moments and embrace them, for I know now where they are taking me. I will bask in the warmth of hell’s foundries where I’ve grown, for this steel was forged for you. I give thanks to it all, for without even a single thorn I would not have found the rose.

Peace.

 

 

photo by: