I originally wrote this on Facebook using an iPhone and, when I hit “post”, it vanished. Suddenly, about an hour later, it magically appeared. I edited it, given the iPhones propensity to make shit up, and proudly offer the original version for your enjoyment.

The Crown Within (mature language)

We love, we lose.
We leave the scents behind.
Some flowers live, and others die
And others bloom within our mind.

Sometimes we win, sometimes we lose,
Sometimes we leave those scents behind
Some flowers live while others die,
And some bloom only in our mind.

Some mountains offer majesty
While others a painful fall,
Yet in our nature burns a will
That has us rise up and stand tall.

I'm not looking for a Angel's grace
And though the emptiness is wide,
I can feel her presence in the void
She's a warrior by my side.

She has no need for broken sticks
That will light her darkened way.
I am the mother fucking Sun to her
Who lights up every day.

I'm not some eager child of God
She needs to save her from her fear,
She knows her man who's conquered both
Yet she holds me tight and near.

No games are played in this paradise
No battle lines are drawn.
Two loving souls who have survived
The darkness right before the dawn.

She looks deeply in my loving eyes
And still hears this Lion roar.
She'll take a drink and lick this cup
While always wanting more.

Two warriors sit upon one throne
No crown upon their skin.
For both know there is no strength out there,
It's the crown they wear within.

A rocky desert,
Where someone lied,
A love destroyed, a love denied.
A soul alone,
I sit and stare,
I thought I saw a flower there.

A flight that crashed,
A lake of fire,
Lies untold in man's desire.
The barren earth,
The ground burnt bare,
Yet I thought I saw a flower there.

A pool of thoughts
Found humanity,
A man lost his sanity.
His sea of stone,
Her frigid air,
I thought I saw a flower there.

Thunder clouds
And lightning strikes,
Fear flows over his rusted dikes.
Jump from the edge
No man would dare,
But I thought I saw a flower there.

Alas I'm sure
To climb some hill,
Live on until I've had my fill.
A single stone
An empty chair,
I know I'll find my flower there.

Listening to you I understand my own frailties.
My own need to be special, to be different, to be unique in your world.
I hear the words escape from your lips,
See them fall from your fingertips,
And I know.

I want to be a god in your church,
To which you sacrifice all things,
The bed we share an altar where everything is offered,
Everything is given,
And everything is received.

I want to know that I am safe,
That the demons of this world hold no power here.
I want to feel your virgin arms around my neck,
Seek the sacred seed within you
While never knowing the fires of hell.

Such a folly of the weakened mind!
I fall away from my purpose while searching for theirs,
I walk away from my truth to find a piece of what others see,
Amidst the wailings of a child left alone in the wilderness
I can not find the silence I call my own.

Now the gray skies crack to birth the bluish sky
And I feel the fresh sunlight on my face.
A new day within the day has dawned,
My direction changes towards the dusty paths
That call my name.

I find company in the emptiness,
Truth in the myriad of lies.
I’ve seen angels with the longest of horns,
And the devil adorned with the whitest of wings.
Such is the contradiction of such things!

And then there is you.
A soft landing after a long fall,
The cool shade following a baking in the Sun.
How lucky I have been to find you,
How wonderful it’s been to hear you call.

I caress your face
As the clouds make love to the sky.
I call for you
As the trees pretend to know my name.
I reach for you in the ether.

And what a wonderful emptiness it is!
That space where you should be,
Somewhere between this footprint in the sand
And the million grains that separate us,
There is nothing but what should be.

And there we go…
Through that promised land we know
Forever is not eternity,
And eternity is not forever
If we’ve lost that sense of wonder.

The distance...
Like a wave caught between its subtle motion
And it's breaking end
Comes at me like a long lost friend
Laughing at me
For some silliness I had done.

Someone once said...
That the difference between a boy and a man
Was a few thousand uncried tears
Well, I've become a man
Torn in that glorious revelry
Reborn in the remnants of a once-hallowed past.

I love...
With such passion as to temper hardened steel
With such strength as to turn diamonds into powder
With such tenderness to guide the softest feather to the ground.
Love can scream or whisper...
It can open wounds or comfort...
It can be the lightest touch or the punch that knocks you down.

Love is allowance.
Like a great canvas upon which we paint our own experience
Like the air that does not fight our inhalation.
We honor her with the exhalation that gives us song
With the moments that pass us from beyond the horizon.
With our own end when the time comes.

So use the torrid storm
As a means to see the beauty all around
For nothing highlights the flower like the stone
Nothing gives importance to a single sip of water like dire thirst.
See the break in the dark clouds?
That's where the Sun bursts through.

So, I say to you my Beloved...
Hold me firm as you let me go
Take me in as you watch me walk through the door
And never utter a prayer without remaining silent.
See me in the underlids of your eyes
In the places where your soul plays to no one but itself.

I will see you there
I may touch you or watch you from a distance.
Distance where the wave is caught between its subtlety 
And the rough surf of its demise
Where everything is created and destroyed in an instant
And where we might dance the tide to home.

I once was so lost
     I needed a faith.

I once was so scared
     I needed a god.

I once was so forgetful
     I needed a book.

I once was so helpless
     I needed a priest.

I once was so uncertain
     I needed a Word.

I once was so blind
     I need your cause.

I once was so lonely
     I needed your church.

I once was so mistaken
     I created it all.

I struggle sometimes
With the words...
They all seem wrong
Lost, forgotten, 
Like jumbled coins at the bottom of a large bag.

Those eyes,
Your eyes...
They fucked up the ugly order of things
Chaos where the stones were once set
Cracked concrete set in the easy path I had carved.

Those lips,
Your lips...
Pouty memories of a hope once left dormant
A fleeting memory
Now burning deep inside the coldest parts of me.

I touch that neck,
Your neck...
The raised bumps appear in the freckles of your skin,
Telling stories
Awesome stories of something soon to come.

My eyes gaze downward,
Toward gifts I will not savor
Not yet, not now,
I will force myself to wait
Until a memory born will be a memory we hold together.

Impulsive me,
Restrained by the freedom of it all
Not needing, but wanting
Not being consumed by the fire yet surely feeding it,
I'll hold onto the enormous possibility.

No game of hide and seek here,
Just a promise...
Honesty and certainty our mutual agreement
Lust and love will follow the virgin path
Not yet cut by any footsteps made before.

Ah, such love
Such worship of our true Divinity
Not yet lost in the pleasures of our own humanity,
We laugh,
Until the stars fade under the power of the One we call our own.

Good morning, my sweet love.
Now whisper to me something of things to come.
Tell me tales of the depths we will shortly share
And take me...
There.